When someone says they’re “in a rut” they usually mean that they haven’t been on a date in a while or that they’re generally having a hard time hooking up, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships there are all kinds of different ways to get bogged down. It’s disturbing to realize how much of our lives are determined by convention. Being either gay or lesbian isn’t such a big taboo anymore, at least it isn’t necessarily so, but people tend to understand it as an orientation that’s supposed to determine people’s identities, hence all the stereotypes that we have in our culture. One good way to be able to explore all of your desires is to meet people through a bisexual dating site.

Sometimes I’m taken aback to realize how far we failed to come in our understanding of interpersonal relationships and the sexuality behind them. In the ’50s Alfred Kinsey produced a groundbreaking study called “Sexual Behavior in The Human Male,” which attempted to shed some light on what was going on behind closed doors that our conventional conceptions of sexuality wouldn’t let us see. In a section discussing homosexuality he wrote that “not all things are black nor all things white,” arguing that “only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.”

His point being that while who or what we desire is telling about who we are, that doesn’t mean those desires can be used to categorize us according to rigidly defined types. He went on to say that “the sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.” In true adult dating situations, people should only worry about the individuals involved and whether the relationship is positive, not about how the relationship will define them in the eyes of an over-generalizing society.

A lot of people haven’t realized that yet, so when you’re looking to meet adult singles, that shouldn’t just mean you’re looking for a hot night. That might be part of what you’re after, but to truly enjoy yourself it’s important to find mature, intelligent people who are emotional adults, not just immature people who are old enough to vote. Finding good people to have relationships with is the only way you can have one that will grow.

(original article)