Even though dating personals are making it easier than ever to find people with similar tastes and shared goals, positive relationships are still hard to come by and the dating scene can be discouraging. Given how hard it is to find someone with whom you’re compatible, it’s no wonder so many people feel stuck in bad relationships.

I think our culture makes getting out of bad situations particularly difficult. We place a lot of importance on relationships so letting go is doubly hard. I’m not an expert, but from what I read relationship addiction is becoming more and more of a problem these days. Peoples’ sense of significance seems to be directly related to the quality of their relationships that they’ll refuse to admit that things have gone down hill. Some people are just too terrified of being alone to consider a breakup.

The flip side of addiction is the wild spin when you cut yourself off. This lead me to another thing that I find really frustrating about the dating scene. A lot of people who go through bad breakups end up in what people call “rebound relationships.” I’ve never understood this concept. It’s the instance where no one seems to strive for a positive relationship, they just seem to use the idea as excuse to be as self-destructive and inconsiderate as the possibly can as though they took the phrase “misery loves company” a little too seriously.

It’s hard enough trying to build a positive relationship when both people involved are trying to make things work. When one person just doesn’t care because their have a preconception about what the dating pattern should look like or they’re just trying to use the other person as a distraction, then there is really nothing you can do. There is definitely such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Wouldn’t it be better if people were just, you know, honest and straightforward? Is that really too much to expect? I guess I’m being overly pessimistic and I should really stop myself. I’m sure there is such a thing as a positive relationship and people willing to build them. I guess all I want to say is that we’re all in this together and we could really make things easier on each other.

(original article)