I am not sure if this is a common theme with other singles, but I have encountered it.

You see, at my age (no, not being ageist - keep reading Mrs Higginbottom…) the singles are likely to fall into one of two broad categories - divorced or single after a long term relationship. And so by “age” - compare this scenario to school, or university for example, when singles had just come out of a 2 week fling with someone…

What I am trying to say is that there appears to be a lot of Baggage being carried around.

And so it seems sometimes that I am being held up to the criteria set by the former partner of the woman I am interested in. Sometimes it’s more than this - the person has made a conscious decision to change the way they react, or the people they date, or avoid certain things in any new relationship. My favourite is the therapist or relationship counsellor (professional or amateur) who has told the person where thye went wrong and just how to solve their future.

It just seems, to me anyway, that some spontaneity is lost, that I am judged on the basis of past events, or someone I don’t even know (but if I did I certainly wouldn’t thank!!!)
It’s as if a shadow hangs over me that I cannot break free of while trying to woo the young lady who has taken my attention.

Is that just me being paranoid, or is this something other people experience too???

(original article)