Sex And The City has spoiled us all (well, all of us that watch HBO or rent DVDs). The singles scene isn’t ALL cosmopolitans with Sarah Jessica Parker, and I think one of the primary letdowns would be quote unquote sexy dating services. A lot of these services are about sexy as a temp agency, which I suppose is to be expected. Dating services that cater specifically to sex dating have to walk a fine line after all - they can’t be too racy or they’ll seem like an escort agency, but on the other hand they’ve got to keep things enticing enough so that people who are looking for some sensual harmless fun will know they’re getting their money’s worth.

I’ve heard some friends of mine speak of this service in LA called It’s Just Brunch, a very low-impact dating service whose name should tell you all you need to know. “It’s just a bagel and a coffee with a stranger! Take it easy, relax, no pressure, sit down, make yourself comfortable”, and so on. It’s a nice, non-confrontational way to go about dating - people are generally a hell of a lot sexier when they’re relaxed, with their guard down. It’s a pretty far cry from the manic world of speed dating, but because the stakes are so low, dates with IJB tend to fizzle out with zero incidents good or bad.

On the other end of the spectrum you’ve got services like Adult Friend Finder which are much more in your face. Getting it on as quickly as possible may not be the goal of the majority of the users, but the set-up is definitely directed towards instant gratification. Of course, if fun, sex and games are what you’re looking for, this is an excellent one-stop shop - you won’t have to worry about initiating long term plans and prepping your home for him (or her) when you’ve got options like these. I find it a tad high pressure, but then again I’m kind of whiney by nature.

I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for (you probably don’t need me telling you that, but on the other hand it’s my column). Whether you’re looking for a glass of OJ with a charming stranger, or going out and hitting the adult want ads with the determination of a Navy SEAL, there are more than enough options for everyone.

(original article)